I'll check out more this evening (morning's are too hectic to fully relax and enjoy). I like your publishing schedule of every Friday. I need that kind of discipline!
Hey Jon - a really fun premis - I'm a big fan of the same writers you list at the top of the story. It has a good pace, but maybe there is a little too much "tell" in the first episode. It's always tricky to get the exposition out, but I would have loved to have experienced some of what they were talking about rather than just hearing them chat about the funny stuff.
I look forward to reading chapter two to see where it goes.
Thanks for the feedback. I was trying to start as much “in the action” as possible and making an effort to avoid explaining things directly opting for the conversation option instead of. On reflection I can see that there’s very little “showing” of the frustration that Derek is feeling about his current situation.
Thanks for highlighting that I’ll keep it in mind for the future.
This has a really fun vibe Jon and the premise sets things up so the story can go anywhere. I’ll be reading more - thanks for sharing this!
Thanks, it's always great to get feedback. Glad you're enjoying it.
I'll check out more this evening (morning's are too hectic to fully relax and enjoy). I like your publishing schedule of every Friday. I need that kind of discipline!
Part 4 is already lined up and ready to go tomorrow 😉
Hey Jon - a really fun premis - I'm a big fan of the same writers you list at the top of the story. It has a good pace, but maybe there is a little too much "tell" in the first episode. It's always tricky to get the exposition out, but I would have loved to have experienced some of what they were talking about rather than just hearing them chat about the funny stuff.
I look forward to reading chapter two to see where it goes.
Thanks for the feedback. I was trying to start as much “in the action” as possible and making an effort to avoid explaining things directly opting for the conversation option instead of. On reflection I can see that there’s very little “showing” of the frustration that Derek is feeling about his current situation.
Thanks for highlighting that I’ll keep it in mind for the future.